Beautiful

I'm going to be honest. I don't have a Fashion Friday for you today.

Want to know why? I've worn a hoodie every day this week.

Granted, in my opinion, there's nothing wrong with this....usually.

I go in cycles where I want to dress up versus not. And I am a big hoodie lover. 

I have 7, and they're all different colors.

However, the reason for my wearing hoodies this week is not because I'm just in hoodie mode, it's because I feel gross.

You may remember that a couple of my Goals for the New Year were to exercise 4 times a week and eat healthier. Well, I did it for about 2 weeks. And then I fell into a big slump.

Like usual.
I haven't worked out this week and I haven't been eating well.

I have been struggling with this for years.

Ever since I got depressed.

I'm not anymore. But while I was, I ate a lot.

I mean, I gained 25-30 pounds in a couple months and while I was able to lose some of that, I haven't fully recovered.

I went from this...

To this...

I know it may be hard to tell. But that bulge you see, is in fact, my stomach. 

Thankfully, I'm not depressed anymore, and haven't been since. But my psychological urge to eat hasn't gone away.

No matter what I do, I always find myself turning to junk food. Even if I'm working out. I sort of rationalize to myself that since I am working out, I can eat like that. Which is not the truth.

When I was younger, I ate bad only occasionally.

But I had the need and the motivation to work out and be healthy in general.

I realize that as ladies, we struggle with our self image a lot, regardless of how we look or how much we weigh. 

I just want to be honest and say that I struggle with this, deeply.

I want to change my eating habits. I truly do. And I do good for about a week and then spiral. I'll tell myself, I'll start over tomorrow or next week. I do good for a few days, and then I spiral again.

This has been a constant of mine for years.

It's only now that I'm realizing that it's something I need to turn to God to more.

That may sound weird for something small like this. But I know it's the truth.

To be honest, I'm not sure how. But I know I need to.

I hope this post doesn't offend anyone or make them feel bad about themselves or anything of the sort.

I just know that for my height and my weight, I am overweight.

I wanted to be honest with you all, since I know a lot of you are honest with your struggles.

And let's face it, I haven't done that on this blog.
Maybe I sort of feel like writing this and admitting it out loud to people (I was SO close to deleting this and continuing on) that I'll finally acknowledge it and do something about it.

And it's about time that I do that.

Via.

Love to you.

Kristen